Retribution X: A New leader, a new beginning?
by Anything but ordinary3
Summary: Insane drunkeness with Retribution X! Pranks are pulled on many of the X-men (espiecially Scott!) and punishment follows! This is one of my better efforts and a must for fellow Scott and Jean bashers!!
1. Struggle for power!

Disclaimer: None of 'em belong to me except Ash, Mel, Kat and Ev so don't sue. 

**A huge thanks goes to Red Haired She devil who took on the challenge of writing in Kat's POV and Oracles Maiden who continues in Mel's PoV! Also to all the loyal reviewers whose comments (however harsh) are always taken on board!!**

****

I would like to say to my critics on my last Fanfic which dealt with the aftermath of Ashley's rape that all though I agree that it is not the ideal way in which to portray the way's in which to deal with rape I can not believe you are naïve enough to believe in binary opposites to the extent of being the right and wrong way to show rape. Retribution X: crying in the wind is purely a vehicle to show the ways in which Ash copes (right or wrong) and as a way to get people to explore how they would feel and want to be treated in that situation and hopefully Wolverines bullish attitude has shown you the way _not to deal with a rape victim. _

If you are a victim of rape there are many organisation's set up in order to help you get over the trauma and are willing to listen to you confidentially, and show you that you _can_ get your life back .

Okay for the long term followers of Retribution X this is a hark back to the good old day's of the first 3 fanfics in the series with drunken madness galore!! With no further ado Read and Hopefully enjoy!!

Retribution X: A new leader, a new beginning? The garage   

I watched sadly as Ash carried her suitcases to the Blackbird- I'd given her a letter to give to my parents. I didn't know what was up with her but I hoped a trip home might sort her out. 

I didn't go down to the hanger to say goodbye with the others- I wasn't good at them. I'd given her another note to read at some point, a kind of good luck card. I didn't even go out onto the balcony… I didn't want my leader to see me cry. 

And that's what I was doing… by the bucket load. I knew something was wrong and that although I wanted to I couldn't help. It was up to Ash… but I wanted to help. 

There was a Bampf behind me.

"Aren't you going to see her off?"

I didn't speak, I didn't even look around. But I felt his grip on my shoulder…

"Are you crying?" 

Again I refused to talk, just determinedly wiped my tears away, but they were replaced by more.  

"She'll be fine." He reassured me turning me to face him. I tried to pull away but he was too strong. He just held me round the waist. Finally I cracked up and cried in earnest, bowing my head onto he chest. He stroked my hair tenderly as I cried my eyes out. I halted as I heard the jets of the Blackbird and looked up determined to see her go. Kurt just stood watching me.

I straightened my back and wiped my eyes again. I was leader now, and I had to be strong…

"Kurt that meant nothing" I turned and told him as I left the room to address my team-mates for the first time as leader.

And that was only half a lie. 

**Retribution X briefing**

  I was like Gandhi, standing up and helping the less fortunate than myself. Or was I thinking about Lennie Henry. Me and the scary girls (apart from Ash who had gone skitso and run away) were in the danger room planning our next attack. As the psycho girl wasn't around it was my job to lead the group. Not Mel, no not Mel. She was just there to help me with the big words. And sometimes to give me jelly babies.

  I was dressed as Cammy from the street fighter series. I had army trousers on with a tight top and one of those French hats. I couldn't speak French but I was trying out an accent to go with it and the look was finished off with army paint as lipstick and blusher. The creepy, clawed one had given me a white board and some multicoloured pens to play about with. I had used them to draw a picture of Tinky Winky on the board. I felt very important in my new role as leader, and the big brain was ruining it for me.

  "You will sit down Mel or I will have to use my pointing stick on you."

  "Ohh no, you're gonna poke me. I'm so scared." I had a funny feeling that Mel was being sarcastic. "This is my life so I should have a say in what you're doing."

  "You have no rights here anymore Mel. Those went out the window when Ash left."

  "Ash made me the leader. You're barely function as second in command. If, that is, you can control your own functions."

  This had made me confused. My brain had shut down as soon as she had said Ash and I was now hearing the Hawaii 50 theme tune in my head. I realised that she had stopped speaking and was now staring at me in a manner that I really didn't like. "Sit down or I will make you sit down" I said lighting my hands. She looked at me as if… oh my god! "Stop it. Get out of my brain." 

  "There's no use going in your brain. All that's in there is Telli-tubbies and theme tunes." Oh my god how did she know?

  "Umm, you two. I'd just like to say that you two have spent half of the session arguing, and we've only got half an hour left to know all that we need to."

  "Yeah. Argue on your own time."

  "I'm just saying that the ideas that she has been coming up with are a load of nonsense. I mean, where are we going to get a helicopter at such short notice. And we're not allowed the blackbird for our own uses. Plus, I don't really want to hurt Kurt. I know that he can be a little prick at times but he's my little prick. Ok that came out wrong."

  "Oh my god!!! See, Jube's. I'm not the only stupid one in this mansion. And just so you know, Mel Kurt may love you but everyone else thinks' you're a twat."

  "Oooooh. Score one for Kat." Sometimes Ev worries me...

  "So we all know what we're doing then? One of us is going to wait outside to inform us when Kurt is heading for the house. Another one of us has to check all of the rooms every hour to make sure that he hasn't teleported in. Now when he comes in we'll all use our powers to get him back and then he will know what-"

  "This is my job so stop taking over." If Mel kept doing this then I swear I would leave them to do all of this themselves. I don't have to do this you know… Wait shouldn't I be saying this out loud. "If you keep doing this then I swear I'll leave you all to do this yourselves. I don't have to do this you know!"

  "I know that Kat," Mel was saying, "and I'm really grateful but I just don't think-"

  "That Kurt deserves that." The other girls replied to her, apart from me who had just spotted a scuff on the floor. 

  "Hey, there's a scuff on the floor." I exclaimed.

  "Hey Kat," Jube's said in to me to relieve the tension, "Why don't you take the place outside. After all you are the best observer."

  "Okay. I will guard the entrance of the mansion within an inch of my life and also…" I was very excited as I took my bag off to show them what I had gotten for this mission. There would be no "Why aren't you more like ash, Kat" and "I wish Ash was here, she'd know what to do. I have to admit that they were all very good at hiding their happiness as I gave each of them their present.

  "They're Walkie talkies?" Ev said as I smiled back, proud of myself for my great present. "They're for the mission!"

  "Thanks Kat… They're really… great." At least Mel liked them. Why am I always the collective brains of the outfit? That's a nice line to use as it always sounds really inter-whatever when Beast says it. 

**3 Months later**

**Retribution X briefing**

Mel and Kat were at it again. This was the 3rd consecutive briefing that was going to be wasted by their petty squabbles for power.

"Ash left me in command of the team your just jealous!" Kat yelled hands alight

"You're just deluded" Mel shot back.

I sighed these arguments always ended in something catching fire, usually my shoes.

I got up and left them to it, after all the wouldn't miss me and I had a lesson with the Brady Bunch in half an hour. As I walked to my room I looked at Ash's door sadly it was usually open and ready for visitors who wanted to bitch about how perfect Jean was or how to stop Kat from licking the inside of the fridge or how to detach her from it once she had done so. Ash was one of those people you didn't think about all that much while they were there but when they went you saw just how much they did and how much they meant to you. Ash was our fearless leader, Ash offered tips on our battle techniques, Ash kicked butt with her self taught (and hence individual) style of fighting, Ash could control Kat like so many fail to. Ashley was probably the most offensive fighter out of us all (barring Wolvie) the rest of us (perhaps with the exception of Jube's) were more defensive fighters, hell, Kat's idea of a battle was to run in the opposite direction yelling "Their trying to kill me!" at the top of her lungs.   

I opened the door to take a look around Ash's room only to spy what at first glance appeared to be Gollem searching through Ashley's c.d collection. I squinted to get a better look at the creature, only to discover that it was in fact Kat.

"How did you get up here without passing me in the halls? You were still yelling at Mel when I last saw you…"

Kat stopped and looked at me puzzled "I forget"

"Okay I'll ask you another question that you might actually remember" I sighed speaking slowly to ensure that she understood what I was saying "What Exactly are you looking for?"

"Umm…." Kat stood up straight and scratched her head in the manner of a puzzled monkey "…remember…must remember…Oh yeah Gloria Gaynor!"

"What?!"  

"Just thought she might have a copy of the Gloria Gaynor C.D"

"But you have 5 copies of it already!" 

"Who's counting…?" She shrugged "…Who's the Stereophonics?"

"A band"

"Oh goody! Do they sing the Y.M.C.A?"

"?!"

**Professor X's Office**

"What is it Chuck? I gotta a danger room session with the X Men in 10" I growled desperate to bash a few skull's together.

"I am aware of that Logan however there has been an issue on my mind of late." The Professor looked at me over steeple like fingers. "It has been a worry of mine that Retribution X is short of a member and it doesn't look White Lightning has any plans to return to the team so I feel it is time we thought about a replacement."

"What?!"

"Come on Logan you know the team is 'understaffed'"

Snickt "And where do you propose that her replacement will stay bub?"

"Well in the new wing…"

"In Ashley's room I suppose…"

"Well yes as a matter of fact…"

"Is that how you repay the kid for her loyalty to the team, the kids got some issues she needs ta sort out but she will be back…"

"But it has been over 3 months now Logan…"

"Look Professor, I don't tell you how to do your job so don't tell me how to do mine. I've been training these girls up since they joined the academy and what they don't need is some dumb ass new kid messing up their regime."

Behind me I could smell the entire team enter through the door into the Professors study.

"Actually Logan you tell me how to do my job on a daily basis"

"Stupid words for someone who can't run" I said menacingly 

"What's going on?" Jubes asked

"Chuck here thinks that we need to replace Ashley" I growled

The team erupt into yells of protest worthy of the Friends of Humanity, except for Kat who bent down and exclaimed "Oh look a nickel"

"Do we need to have a sit in in protest to this idea of yours Professor?" Jube's asked 

"No!" The Professor almost yelped "Well if she hasn't returned within the next month then we really will need to think about a replacement for her!"

Kat watches a piece of dust fall from the ceiling while the Professor paled.

#Logan it seems that Pyro has entered the building#

"Yay Pyro!" Came Kats excited squeal as she zoomed from the study

"Umm..Professor…you seem to have projected your thoughts again" Evelyn pointed out helpfully.

"Quick someone stop her!" Mel ordered a second before the fire alarm and sprinklers could be heard from the hallway.

**The Hallway outside the study.******

Yay!! My good friend Pyro was in the building. I spotted him almost immediately, and we circled each other a few times. We always did this before the attack, ever since we had first met. I had been introduced to him in around the second month of my time here. I was starting to get used to my power and the first words out of my mouth to him, like they usually were to people here were, "So, what's your power?"

"I can manipulate fire, what about you?"

"Well, I can create and manipulate fire." I will never forget the look on his face as I said this. He looked like he was sucking on a lemon. I would use this fact to my advantage from this day forward.

I made my first move. I lit my hands and started to throw small balls of fire at him, gigging as I went. He seemed to be catching most of this and throwing it back. I looked around for some sort of weapon. As if on cue Professor Xavier and the rest of the group rushed from the study to stop me. I had spied my weapon. I lunged at the wheelchair bound mans legs and pulled. 

Pyro looked truly scared as I lunged towards him wielding my new weapon… FLAMING SLIPPERS!! Just as I had started hitting him around that fat head of his, the creepy clawed one grabbed the fire extinguisher, dousing us both with the contents. This didn't stop us though. I jumped on his back and started pulling his hair and trying to put my hand down his trousers so that I could set fire to another part of his body when…

 "Kat do you wanna play on the swings?" Bobby said in between aeroplane sounds. Me and Pyro had stopped fighting mid-blow and I simply said "Ok" and ran off with Bobby pretending to be aeroplanes and the rest of the group looking on dumbfounded.


	2. Missing!

Everything as seen at the top of Chapter 1 Retribution X's Living room that night 

I like peace and quiet. This is what being leader is all about. I'd locked Jubes and Ev in the cupboard with a large supply of alcohol, and every now and then there was a burp followed by a giggle. 

They were in there because they were annoying. That and they weren't as easy to get rid of as Kat. 

The girls had all gone to town on the "We must get Kurt back for the 'date'" Plans. I know I said that Retribution X stuck together but I didn't want us this stuck. 

Personally I just wanted to forget Kurt existed now and get on with being leader… and do leader stuff. Organise danger room sessions, coordinate Missions… feed Kat to Wolverine, the stuff Ash had done. 

However all they wanted to do was avenge me. Life sucked. 

I just want to ignore him and stop obsessing about him, but now THEY are obsessing. And they're annoying!!! Was I that boring?

"Melly, let us out Hic and we'll give you a present!" Ev's slurred speech came from behind the cupboard door. 

"What have you got in a linen closet that could be described as a present?" I called from the sofa. 

"Uhhh…" They thought for a second… "We have sheets… and towels…"

Now for some fun. 

"what kind of Sheets?" I called to them excited. 

"Uhhh… Blue with swirls?" Jubes called back.

"Umm Jubes We don't have any with Swirls?" I asked puzzled.

"Or possibly they could be clouds… but don't quote me on it."

I put my cup of tea down and changed the channel to something with some intellectual content, Kat always kept it on the channel that made peoples ears bleed either that or the one with scary preachers asking you to make donations. Kat had pledged Wolvie's Mucky videos once, we couldn't get her out of her room for a week. Not because she was to scared to come out, but the fact that Wolvie was camping by her door determined to catch her. 

That's when we bought the walkie-talkies. God how I regretted that now. 

"Demented sea lion, Demented sea lion this is frantic Jellyfish Repeat Frantic Jellyfish. Over." Crackled my walkie-talkie on the arm of the sofa. I tried to ignore it but Kats calls kept getting louder and more livid. 

"God damn you Demented Sea lion listen to me!! Or I'll have to squish you good!!! Over."

"Technically a Sea lion could squish a jellyfish easily…"

"Yes but a Kat can Squish a Mel and set fire to her hair while singing la coocaracha." She squealed at me. "Hey you didn't say Over, Over."

I sighed, "I don't need to say over. I just stop talking." 

"Yes you do, just say over, over."

"Can't I say Roger?"

"No…" She paused. "Who's Roger? Is he one of Kurt's mates… SHOULD I POUNCE ON HIM TOO!!! Over"

"No Kat, Roger's another word for…" I realised who I was talking to. "Just forget it…"

"I can't forget it Mel, It'll haunt me when I sleep… I'll imagine this Roger is stalking me with a stuffed fish of some kind… and then I'll have to go to Wolverine again and ask if I can get in with him and he'll chase me with his claws and I won't sleep anymore so I'll have to watch Indian soap operas at midnight on that weird Hindi channel and then I'll think that one of the men on it could be the roger man and it'll start all over again. Over"

I sat dumbfounded at what I had just heard, but I cut through my own confusion and filed Kats rant at the back of my mind to go over when I had nothing better to do. 

"Kat, have you seen Kurt?" I asked.

"No. Over." She answered back, "I did see something I thought looked like Kurt but it turned out a sparrow was sitting on the end of my binoculars and had done a whoopsie. Over". 

Thinking that Kurt looked like guano, only in Kats world. 

"Well stay out there until your mission is complete over."

"Was that Completely over or complete- Over?"

"Shut up and Piss off, not necessarily in that order!!" I screamed down the Walkie-talkie at her. She fell silent thank god!

And now I settled down to sleep on the sofa knowing that I wouldn't be disturbed by Kat and the Jubes and Ev would probably pass out in the next couple of hours. 

Ahhh, a leaders life for me.

Outside 

It had been a rather good night so far, okay so I hadn't seen Kurt and a flower had looked at me funny but still it was good. Actually the flower had been creeping me out so much that I had moved to a different watch point. I was now very comfortable behind a hedge close to the front of the mansion. 

To be honest I was a bit bored now. My conversation with Mel hadn't gone too great and I was still quite scared. In fact the reason that I had moved before was because I kept wondering if the flower was Roger. He looked more like a Pete though. 

I had a thought. If Kurt appeared then I had better be ready and prepared… Or was that Prepared and Ready? I started to do Kung Fu moves and throwing fireballs. This was the part where I realised that the hedge I had been behind for a while was on fire. I screamed like a little Mary Queen and ran to put the hosepipe to put out the flames. Unfortunately the hosepipe wasn't attached to the tap. I started the task of cupping water from the tap in my hands and running to pour the water on the hedge. This for some reason didn't seem to be going too well. I ran back to my Walkie-talkie and started to yell into it "Mel, Mel urgent assistance needed, over!"

Inside a little later 

I woke up lazily stretched out over the sofa, I sighed contentedly. Another day as the leader… Then I realised that it wasn't daylight outside. It was pitch black. I had woken in the middle of the night, I didn't usually do that unless there was a huge reason. 

There was a huge reason. 

I looked over to the door that lead to the cupboard where Jubes and Ev had been locked. Smoke was billowing from under the door…

"Shit, First day in charge and my team mates are burning the place to the ground…" I rushed to the kitchen doing the worried dance that Kat always pointed out I always did when I was on edge. I grabbed the fire extinguisher from beside the cooker and rushed back to the cupboard kicking it open and spraying the insides with the contents of the extinguisher. It went out but I had released a huge cloud of smoke… this set of the sprinklers. 

The one above my head poured down soaking me… I resembled a drowned rat… but less attractive. 

I threw the empty extinguisher to the floor via my foot which was where it landed. I yelped… things couldn't get any worse. 

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" Screamed Kat as she rushed through the door brandishing a small plastic butter knife that I seriously doubted would cut through butter. Still wearing her army make up and camouflage gear I stared as she circled the room 3 times still screaming before attacking a huge pillow on a chair. 

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!!!!" I screamed. 

Kat looked up seeing me with water still streaming down me. 

"I thought you were in trouble…"

"Yes the pillow is really dangerous… ohhh look it's giving me a dirty look right now!"

I scream sarcastically. However Kat didn't understand the lowest form of wit. 

"Damn Pillow stop looking at Mel like that!" She continued the pummelling.

I gave up, let her destroy the pillow for all I cared. 

I watched the scene for a second before turning to examine the smouldering remains of the inside of the cupboard… 

It was hell… the alcohol stash was all but drunk. A few bottles of wine still remained but the bottles had cracked from the heat of the fire and their contents were slowly seeping onto the floor. It hit me like a bereavement… goodbye claret, bonsoir champagne, Adios Merlot. But then I told myself to look on the bright side… the Karaoke Machine was where the fire had started. There was a god after all. 

But then it hit me… Ev's and Jube were nowhere to be seen and the window inside the closet was open. I left Kat still tearing at the pillow with her teeth to run to the stairs. 

"Jube… Ev?" No answer. They could just be in a drunken stupor… 

I did what I had promised never to do to my team mates. It was my only choice… other than running upstairs and checking the rooms to see if they were in them, but I couldn't be bothered. 

I opened my mind to chart the desires of all those in the vicinity. 

Kat wanted a puppy, and some ice… It was strange but not as strange as some of the things that people at the academy wanted. Once I'd listened in on Scotts desires… he'd wanted Prof X dipped in honey and wrapped in a big red bow. They only came out at night… or in Scotts case the afternoon.

I could feel no one else… well except…

Logan was up in his room… he wanted… ohhh gross get that out of my head, that was too fowl to ever think of again… god I hoped someone would knock me out one day and that memory would disappear. 

There was someone else in the house too… me. I could read my own desire, but I chose not to. Not now anyway. 

They weren't here. 

And they were drunk… that was never a good sign. 

And I would be responsible for anything they did!!!

I grabbed my jacket from the bottom of the stairs…

"Kat, I'm going out for a min. I have to find Jubes and Ev. Go back to your post soldier." I barked in my best impression of what Ash did when giving orders. 

The girls head appeared from behind the sofa, feathers in her mouth. 

"Yes Ma'am." She barked before picking up the remains of the pillow and exiting to the bushes outside. 

I closed the door behind her… waited for a second then slung my jacket onto the stairs again. Unlocked the entrance to the main building and entered, chastising myself for even thinking about doing what I was.

A few Minutes Later 

"Look after the way I and my friends have treated you over the last couple of months I wouldn't blame you for saying no… but you are the only teacher I can think of that won't report my misconduct to the Professor and I really want to prove myself worthy of this post… I'd feel like I let Ash down if I don't do well." I begged. "So what do you say?

Kurt just stood on the threshold to his room, dressed only in a towel round his waist and a pink shower cap, clutching his rubber duck in one hand, a loofa in the other. 

"You want my help?" He repeated, unsure of what he had heard, I didn't beg that often so it must have been a novelty. 

I nodded sadly. 

He smiled happily. "Just give me a sec to throw some clothes on." He ran away from the door… a gap in his towel let his tail show. 

I giggled a little, there was a time when it would have had me swooning but now… I just giggled a schoolgirls laugh and that was a start. 

Kurt though realised what he had done. 

"Ohh" He said running back to the door and closing it almost completely. "Sorry about that…" 

"No problem." I called back almost resisting the urge to peek through the crack in the door… almost but not entirely. 

Power had finally corrupted my soul.


	3. Crime

**See chap 1 for disclaimer and thanks**

**Logan****'s Bedroom**

I was bored and toying with the idea of cracking out one of my video classics like 'Bombay Bitches' or 'Lithuanian Lesbians' but something told me that I should resist the urge…for now anyway. So I just lay on my bed and looked up at the ceiling. I inhaled catching a scent and a quiet tread outside my bedroom door. I pretended to be asleep as I heard the door open. I was hit by the overwhelming smell of smoke, Alcohol and teenagers.  In fact I could smell that it was Jube's and Ev but I decided to stay 'asleep' so I could find out what they wanted or until they decided to leave. After a minute of them prodding me to make sure I really was asleep I heard Jube's burp and announce "mmm…Tasty!" causing Ev to giggle hysterically before making over dramatic "Shhh…" sounds.

It took my best effort not to either grimace or jump up and throttle them.

"Time to put our plan into operation!" I heard Jube's she took the lid of what sounded and smelled like a thick marker.

"I'll switch the videos and you do the graffiti!" Ev said with what sounded like a drunken stagger.

I wondered what they would write as I heard one of the little bastards wander around my room. But before I realised I felt Jube's breath on my forehead as she leaned over me with that stinky black marker. 

"What shall I write: Faggot or Scott lover?" She asked

I finally twigged. She was going to write on me. My eyes snapped open at the same time as I popped my claws out snickt.

"Arrrgghhh!" Jube's screamed as I bolted up to a sitting position causing Ev to drop my 'Lithuanian Lesbians' Video she was in the process of switching with Charlie and the Chocolate factory.

"What the hell d'ya fink you're doing?" I yelled at them as I ran to block the door and their only escape.

"Getting the hell outta here!" Jube's screamed as she dove through my open window Ev hot on her heels.

I shot to the window and looked down at the ground expecting to see their crumpled little bodies in a bloody heap on the floor below.

"Over here you Wookie!" I heard a yell from the tree, where Jube's and Ev were sat waving insanely at me.

I heard the screams and so did Kurt… it was obvious who's they were and where they were coming from… Wolvie's Bedroom, Ev and Jubes. 

I turned Quickly but Kurt was already running past me as fast as his legs could carry him. I hurried to keep up with his fast pace…

"Ummm Kurt why are we running?" I called after him… he didn't break his stride.

"Because we are going to apprehend the drunk girls and save your reputation." 

I shook my head… "No, I meant why are we running when you can just Bamf us there… it'd be quicker in the long run…" He stopped in his tracks struck by his own stupidity. 

As I caught up with him he reached out grabbed me by the wrist and pulled me against his strong, muscular, manly… God Mel keep on the case, plus you're supposed to be angry with him still. Keep up the pretence.

Logan's bedroom 

I dove for the window glaring at the tree "I'll get ya, ya little buggers!" I yelled but they were gone.

I grinned; this was a chase I was going to enjoy. However my grin was short lived as I was interrupted by a Bamph

I sighed "How many time's have I gotta tell you and Kitty to knock first" I said as I turned to look at him and Mel. "What d'ya want?"

"We need help apprehending to escaped drunk adolescents" Kurt informed me

"And why would I wanna do that?" I asked toying with them

"Because I would owe you big time" Mel replied

"What's in it fer me?" My eyes narrowed

"You can decide their fate" Kurt said nervously as I grinned

"Within reason" Mel added God these guys were no fun!  

We set light to the bag, rang the doorbell then did a runner.

We watched delighted as Scott ran out of the building looked at the flaming bag and started desperately stamping out the fire as a good scout ought, proceeding to get dog poo all over his shoe at the same time. Ahhh, this was the life, they always fell for the old paper bag full of dog poo alight trick!

"Better get moving Ev, Wolvie will catch up with us if we stay in one place too long!" Jube's said tugging on my arm 

"Okay where shall we go next?" I asked following the yellow blur in front of me.

"Let's play in the lift?" Jube's suggested

"Good idea!!"

**10 minutes later in the school lift.**

Hank entered the lift with a curt nod in our direction Jubilee grinned brightly at him as the door closed before announcing proudly "I have new socks on!" 

I then took my cue to open my wallet and say "Hey little fella's, you got enough air in there?"

Hank looked at us both unsure whether to be amused or disturbed.

He was soon saved from us when 8 new recruits squeezed into the lift pushing me into a corner. "You must refer to me as Admiral!" Jubilee informed them strangely persistent on the subject.

I promptly began clutching my stomach moaning "Oh! Oh no not now damn it…no not motion sickness!" This caused the other occupants of the crowded lift to all press to the wall on the opposite side of the lift giving me more room.

Jube's feeling that she wasn't getting enough attention promptly began to sing 'Mary had a little lamb' while manically pushing all of the lift buttons. Unfortunately the lift ground to a stop.

"Oh my stars and Garters!" Hank said rubbing his eyes wearily.

Jube's shrugged "Oooppsie!"

**5 Minutes latter still stuck in the lift**

"Now I've finally caught up with you Dr McCoy does this look infected to you?" Jube's asked showing Hank her paper cut

I looked around the occupants of the stuck lift weighing each one up before pushing my face up to a short nervous looking kid and yelling "YOUR ONE OF THEM!! GET OUT! GO ON GET OUTTA MY LIFT!"  I insisted pointing at the elevator door. I stopped yelling suddenly and listened to the silence "Is that your beeper" I asked

One of the younger children looked up at Hank with big innocent eyes "Dr McCoy I'm scared!" She said quietly.

"I know child! But I'm sure the Professor will get us out of her soon" Beast said kindly

At that point Jube's started laughing demonically "I must find another host body"

The younger child now burst into tears.

"D'ya think she's possessed like Kat?" I asked Hank

"No I think your both drunk!" Came the blue furry ones reply

"Humph!! A couple of gals wanna play with their favourite blue guy and they get accused of being drunk! What is the world coming too?" I ranted indignantly "Next thing you know Scuzzlebutt…" I looked at Hanks confused face "…that's Sabretooth…" I explained "…and Wolverine will have a tea party while wearing gingham"

One of the older kid's I recognised as someone codenamed 'Bounce' for their jumping ability giggled albeit nervously.

I glanced a Jube's who was looked at her thumb intently after a few seconds she announced in Kat fashion "I think it's getting bigger!"

At that moment the lift started a juddering descent, resulting in relieved looks from the other occupant except me who glowered and Jube's who hollered "Chutes away!"

Outside 

  It doesn't matter that my hedge had burnt down. I was fine in my nice new hiding place, up the nearest tree. Mel had ignored my cries down the walkie-talkie and every time I had tried to get her attention since all I had gotten back was fuzz. It didn't matter anyway. I guess that Professor X was staying in my head most of the time now for my protection because he had immediately known what I had done and had a go at me in my brain while Storm fixed the problem. It really scared me for a while because I thought that I was having another one of my turns. He was there telling me not to touch the bush while it was on fire and I just kept thinking that my brain was talking to me again. 

  Once Storm had dowsed the flames she had turned to me and said with a sad look on her face "Kat honey you can manipulate fire as well remember? Why didn't you just put out the fire yourself?"

"I forget…" I said confused.

Anyway it doesn't matter because it turns out that this new tree of mine was really comfortable. Much more comfortable than my hedge. But my ass had gone to sleep so I had to leave the comfy tree and walk about for a while. Just as I had fallen on the floor (after getting my foot caught on a branch on my way down) I spotted Wolvie looking somewhat lost. He saw me but pretended he hadn't so I started to wave manically to catch his attention. Like a lot of other people did when I waved, the creepy clawed one ignored me. I wasn't going to have this so I grabbed the flashlight that I had brought down with me to help me see back to my hiding spot and shone it in his eyes.

  "Wolvie, woo woo!" He was glaring at me and looked as if he was about to pounce so I quickly turned the flashlight off and tried to blend into the background. It didn't seem to be working as he was walking towards me.

  "Kat why are you hugging the tree?"

  "I'm trying to see what it's like to be a tree." I lied.

  "I'm not even going to ask." He started to walk off but turned around and said "Hey, you haven't seen Ev and Jubes have you?"

  "Not in the last few hours. Why?"

  "It doesn't matter, never mind." As Wolvie walked off he truly looked worried. I wonder what was going on, what had happened to Jubilee and Evelyn. I feel like a Twinkie, When theirs a moment I'm gonna go get one.

**Remy's**** Bedroom**

It was a well known fact with the occupant's of the mansion that Remy was perhaps the heaviest sleeper ever known to mutanity (barring perhaps Kat) and this was the knowledge we was hoping to capitalise on. I was armed with the bungee cord necessary for this prank to be successful and began to bind Remy to his bed all the while Jubilee poured the "Calumet" contents of the florescent glow sticks that you get at Halloween liberally over him. We then retreated to the door looking triumphantly at the glowing body lighting the darkened room that was secured to the bed with bungee cord.

"Mission 2 is a success Admiral" I grinned wickedly

**Scott's Classroom**

"Good work soldier" Jube's announced as we lent against the wall to revel in our success.

"He won't even notice, until it's too late!" I giggled

I was referring tot the pornographic images we had placed in strategic places around Scott's room, some placed in obvious places like his handout folder which would result in Scott's heavy embarrassment as the pictures would inevitably fall out. Other images were placed in places that would go unnoticed for several years and so the embarrassment would live on for years to come. The prank was made even sweeter due to the fact that it was Wolverine's magazine we had sliced and diced in order to create this prank meaning that Scott would have a very angry Wolverine to face when this all came out. I laughed demonically savouring the moment, however like every evil genius I was pulled back to reality by an annoying side kick prodding me.

"Time to move on!" It said wisely  


	4. and punishment

A Hallway in Mansion X 

"Are you sure this is going to work?" The blue one asked me.

"Sure, Pretty much… I think." I stood unsure and peered round the corner. "How many do you think they've got to?" I asked nervously…

"I do not know… I do not think I want to know." Kurt sighed back, and then returned to watching the space in the hall where Wolvie was leaning against the wall drumming his fingers against it. 

"You know when you said that you had a master plan… I thought it might have more slice and dice…" He moaned.

"Shhhh" I instructed. I didn't know if my powers extended to voices… and now wasn't the time to find out. 

So technically I had said that I wouldn't use my powers on my team-mates… Rules were made to be broken.

I had to use a living template so that it wouldn't be a 2D image… Wolvie was the perfect body to paste onto… well… even my thoughts were messed up. It takes a lot of concentration to do this you know. 

What I had to do was get a vision of Wolvie in my minds eye, then change him to whatever I wanted people to perceive. In this case an auditionee for the Chippendales in tight black hot pants. I had to concentrate hard on that image otherwise it would fade and I'd be back at square one. 

A loud knocking emanated from the room to our left, and gagged screaming. 

I batted my eyes, trying to focus… it was getting harder all the time the noise persisted. 

"Don't worry…" Kurt said calmly, "I'll get them to shut up…" 

He Bamphed out of the hall and into the room. I heard a soft "oh my god" Through the wall and then the door opened. I turned my head slightly, and shook with uncontrollable laughter as I saw Remy lassoed to the bed with bungee cord, glowing like a nuclear power plant. He was pulling at the cords and trying to get a pillow out of his mouth with very little success. 

God the girls were good… I wish I'd been drinking with them…

**A few minutes later.**

I'd managed to get my laughter under control enough to project the image again. Kurt however had to stand beside me and shade me from Remy's off putting glow. 

At the mere mention of capturing the people who had done this to him Remy had insisted he be allowed to join the task force and I wasn't complaining, more hands made lighter the kicking and screaming girls… when they arrived. 

"When they arrive don't say anything." I reminded him, shutting my eyes to avoid the glare coming from Remy.

"How do you know they're even gonna come down here Kid?" He asked out of the corner of his mouth. 

"Simple. You're standing next to Jeans door. At some point tonight they have to play a prank on Jean, perhaps even multiple pranks. Jeans door is like a homing beacon for drunken girls on the rampage." I massaged my temple; the concentration was giving me a headache. A blue hand came into view clutching a hip flask… Remy's hip flask.

"No thanks… That's what got us into this mess anyway. Besides I have to keep a clear head to keep this up…"

"Shhh." Kurt Prompted as two drunken women came into view at the end of the hall. 

We leapt back but peered round the corner as they headed for the door shhhing each other. 

At that point however they looked up, and say the vision of loveliness I had created for them. 

"HHHHHHHHUUUUHHHHHHHHH" Both salivated as they stepped slowly forward. As per the plan, with every step towards him Wolvie took one step back. Quickly though they were advancing more than one step at a time… and Wolvie even with his advanced reflexes couldn't keep up with the pace. 

They lunged for him…

So I let my projection slip. 

They tried to stop mid jump but it was too late. They landed at his feet in a pile and scrambled drunkenly for anywhere they could hide, but Kurt and Gambit were on them too fast. 

I slumped against the wall exhausted as the boys held their prizes at arm length. They wiggled as they presented them too me like lobsters on a platter. 

"You didn't prank Prof X did you?" I asked breathlessly. 

"Damn it I knew we forgot someone!!" Jube's moaned as she wriggled. 

**The Torture Chamber (okay, okay the Retribution X living room)**

"Remy pass the Bungee Cord!" I said to my glow-in-the-dark friend

"Gambit not want the petites harmed" he said as he handed over the bungee cord which had been their primary instrument of torture towards him.

"Come on Gumbo where's your back bone?" I sneered

I shot Kurt and Mel a glower as they exchanged worried glances as they struggled to hold onto the frantically writhing teens.

"You two hold 'em down" I ordered wondering if ol' one eye felt as powerful when giving orders as I did right now. 

Kurt and Mel looked from me to the two screaming members of Retribution X hesitantly.

Snickt

The pair of worried mutants pushed the struggling girls into a chair where me and Gumbo hastily bound them, so they couldn't get up hell; I think that they even had difficulty to breath.

At that moment Kat walked through the door looking at us all suspiciously

"What ya doin' here kid?" I asked gruffly

"Sheesh I only wanted a drink no need for the Spanish inquisition" She said walking into the kitchen

Mel looked at Kat then Kurt worriedly as Kat emerged from the kitchen popping the ring pull of a can and clutching a Twinkie.

"Umm…I thought you were meant to be keeping watch." Mel said shiftily trying (and failing) to stand in front of the blue mutant and obstruct him from Kats gaze.

"It's been dead all night I ain't even caught a whiff of the blue furry one" Kat said cheerily, Kurt however looked puzzled "Well time to return to my post! Let me know if you see him" and with that…and a loud burp…Kat left the building.

"Did she want me?" Kurt asked

"Not everything's about you, you know!" Mel said quickly perhaps too quickly "You aren't the only blue fuzzy mutant in the building you know"

I was growing impatient and my blood lust was growing so fierce it was increasingly hard to ignore. "Let's get on with it" I growled

I moved to the video machine and shoved a video into it and hit play impatiently, I watched gleefully as the video began to play.

"You're sicker than I thought!" Mel breathed

I grinned before laughing demonically.

"Gambit not agree with this, this is wrong. Gambit's leaving!" Gambit said as he walked away. However I just continued my demonic laughter.

I was vaguely aware at Jube's and Ev sobbing, and Mel looked pitifully at them.

I laughed harder when the most disgusting bit of all occurred: the pink care bear appeared.

**Outside (Again)**

I was back outside with my twinkie in my hand (no pun intended). I had also got myself a soda while I was inside as it looked like I was gonna be here a while longer. I really loved my tree and I would probably come and live out here once my task was complete. There had still been no sign of Kurt although I had seen Beast earlier. When I had gone in and gotten my supplies I had seen him with Mel and Wolvie. I think that Gambit was there as well but I couldn't be sure, it had all happened so fast.

  Hank was there and to be honest he looked anorexic. He had gotten really thin since I had seen him last, about two days ago now. Also I remember thinking that he must have had a freak accident since then as he had lost two fingers on each hand, and he had had a haircut. Dear got it was Kurt!!! I had had the chance to get Kurt and make him pay but I had been so interested in my twinkie at the time that I hadn't even seen him. Never mind, I'll get him the next time.

  It wasn't fare that all of the other girls got to have a nice warm evening inside while I waited to get Kurt back. It should be Mel out here as she was the one who was hurt by him. He didn't do anything to me. I don't really care anymore, I'm gonna go to bed. There'll be plenty of time to get him later.

**2 hours later**

The video ended.

"D'ya wanna watch that again?" I asked waving my claws through the air just for effect.

Both girls were no sober and mouthed a shaky 'no'

"Awww aint that a shame?" I said turning to look at Mel who was twitching in the corner

"I'm getting out of here!" Kurt said with a bamph

Jubilee had tears in her eyes and Evelyn was shaking uncontrollably. MMmmm…maybe I had over done it. NAH!!

Mel slid down the wall to the floor and began rocking, whilst twitching muttering gibberish.

"I'm never; I repeat NEVER going to drink another drop of alcohol as long as I live" Jubilee said solemnly "I'm not even going to use mouthwash"

Evelyn started crying at the word alcohol.        

Luckily for them they were saved from the rest of there punishment by the mission siren going off and they actually looked _relieved to hear it. Mmm…maybe I had overdone it a tad. _

Outside, in the morning light… 

I had been having a lovely dream in which iceman had attacked Pyro for my safety, and I had been up in a tower like a princess. It was very nice. Unlike the one that had woken me up in a cold sweat during the night. In that dream Wolvie had been dancing around like a crazed monkey. Then Scott, Pyro, Hank and Kurt had joined in and they had all done line dancing for a while before the creepy clawed one had started throwing his dirty books at me. He then started chasing me with his claws out but when I looked his claws were in fact raw fish. Then Professor X came out to stop him and – this is the most disturbing part – he had hair!!!

  I was awoken by the distinctive bamph sound from my right side. I looked down from the branch that I was perched on (still very comfy) and saw the blue furry one beneath me looking quite smug for someone who had disguised himself earlier (This was what I kept telling myself, it made the pain of losing easier). I wasn't about to let this happen again.

"Mel, Mel, he's here. Urgent assistance needed, over!" She wasn't responding. I saw that Kurt was beginning to move so I decided to take matters into my own hands.

  I jumped to the ground and, after shaking off my probably broken ankle, began to run at him. I grabbed a stick from the ground and began to hit him with it while yelling things like "This is for everything you put Mel through! She was hurt and you were a big meany you… you big meany!!!"

 "Vat, vat are you talking about? Please leave me alone dis is getting serious!" He pleaded with me. I stopped hitting him for a second to catch my breath, but in that split second he bamphed out of there and I was simply left staring at where he had vanished. I simply yelled, "I'll get you yet Kurt Wagner. You can't escape my evil ways." As I stormed into the mansion I noticed that quite a few people were staring at me. I didn't really care anymore, although I did do a pose quickly.

**Babysitting for Retribution X**

I had drawn the proverbial short straw it seemed. With the majority of Retribution X, Wolverine and Rogue off on a mission to thwart Sabretooth, I had been left babysitting Kat and Bobby who had been hid under Professor Xavier's bed lighting matches when the rest of the team had left. I looked down at my clawed blue furry hand and sighed, this I feared was to be a long afternoon. 

"Dr. McCoy, Dr McCoy tell Bobby to stop peeing in Storms plants!" It was certainly going to be a long afternoon.

I bounced into the hall only to get my foot frozen to the floor for the effort.

"Ha ha we fool the big intylecytool!" Bobby laughed

"Unfreeze me this instant!" I said trying to emulate Wolverines glower.

Kat tried to comply with me wishes but ended up badly singeing my fur in the process. 

I returned to my seat at the Kitchen table with my Twinkie pile.

"We have are own wing ddddooooo youuu?" Kat could be heard saying to Bobby

"Yes!" Bobby said triumphantly "I'm an X-man!! Or is that Iceman, I always get confused which is which"

"You're both!"

"Am I?" Bobby paused for a second "I am!"

This was going to be the death of me.

"I know lets go ask Miss Grey what that noise was I heard from her and Scott's bedroom was last night!" Bobby suggested brightly

"Yeah why don't you go do that?" I said practically pushing them out of the door.  Jean could cope with them for a few hours after all I'd already had them a whole 10 minutes, okay so Scott may faint at the question but hey it was a sacrifice I was willing to make.

**10 Minutes later**

It was quiet, too quiet. I looked behind the sofa suspiciously but only found half a mouldy sandwich, when was the last time they cleaned up in here, thinking about it the last time the wing got cleaned was probably when Prof. X loaned them the cleaning staff after their themed party and that was what over 5 months ago.

At that moment I hear Jeans voice in my head #Hank you WILL pay for this#

Oh well I shrugged 'who sins the most the tempter or the tempted'.

At that moment I heard the door open and dove for cover under the coffee table, this was soon much too soon I thought twitching slightly.

I peered out from under the table and looked at the apparition suspiciously; perhaps Melody was playing a sick twisted joke on me by showing me what I desired most at that moment.

"Aren't ya gonna say hi then?" Came her voice

"God Ashley I'm so glad you're back!"


End file.
